Todays dreadful news about the closure of Harry Ramsden's first Fish & Chip shop in Leeds reminded me of the Harry Enfiled sketch in which Mr Blob a northern Creative Director is accusued that his plans aren't sophisticated enough.

His retort: Sophisticated? I've BEEN to Leeds!

White Bread, likes what he says and says what he blooming well likes,

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The Big Apple is an experience in its own right; it can be an assault on the senses, a great night out, a cultural hub or numerous other things. It really is a melting pot of the world and one of the most interesting places on earth to visit.

As the song goes’ New York, New York, it’s a hell of a town,’ so make sure that you visit it once in your lifetime. The city that never sleeps is a wonderful place to experience, offering a one of the most disparate experiences on earth, with people of every creed, colour and race living side by side.

The city is also a spectacular place aesthetically, with its amazing skyline, architecture and buildings. To get the most out of a day out in New York, here are a few ideas.

Getting to see the whole city while only there for a short period can be a task, however Helicopter Flight Services based in the city can offer you that chance. Imagine flying across the whole city and seeing the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and the Empire State building in one hour, well it’s possible with a helicopter ride.

The Helicopter Flight Services use some of the most modern helicopters available and meet rigorous safety checks, which may ease nervous flyers.

Etihad have nonstop flights to NYC from Dubai flying out of Abu Dhabi International Airport - the hub airport for the national flag carrier of the United Arab Emirates.

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Dizzying panorama of Granada's Alhambre

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Wall Street

What do you think of when you hear the words Wall Street?  Skyscrapers, sharp suited brokers and investment bankers surrounded by busy screens?

Treasury Management

Now all that is well and good BUT here's a video from Wall Street Systems - leaders in treasury management and providers of corporate financial solutions!

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I saw an insert the other week recommending a trip to Beruit.

Beiruit! You have to be kidding, surely? But wait it would appear not.

Good friend and travel writer Elena Price sent me this feature she has been working on for a series of travel articles about Lebanon for a leading international airline, Etihad.

Here is a video that introduces Lebanon and Beirut

She introduces the following as part of a marketing drive to encourage visitors from Australia that Etihad Airways' scheduled flights to Beirut (Rafic Hariri International Airport) from Sydney (Kingsfrod Smith) now operates daily with a travelling time of around 20 hours

Beirut – A City of Churches, Mosques and iPods

The wonderful city of Beirut is a great place to visit for any tourist.  It is full of history and culture and is overflowing with sunshine and life.  There is a hustle and bustle in the city streets that will leave you full of excitement and anticipation.  Tourists are now returning to Beirut in droves and it can once again live up to its nickname the "Pearl of the Middle East".

Beirut is the capital of Lebanon and has many different cultures and faiths in the city so visitors will see lots of different contrasts on the streets.  It is wonderful to see churches and mosques standing side by side with not a care in the world.  As you walk through the maze of alleyways you will see the old way of life co-existing with the modern as the older generation sit smoking pipes watching the joggers with their iPod's running past.

Attractions to visit in Beirut

Just 86 kilometres northeast of Beirut and well worth a visit are the amazing ancient Roman ruins of Baalbek.  These ruins are one of the most extraordinary and equivocal holy places you will see from ancient times and are the largest stone block construction in the world.  Another place worth a visit is the Al Raoshe Wonder Rock, which is a huge rock formation created by nature and is a wonder to behold or you could visit Charles de Gaulle's residence, which has now been opened to the public and is a great attraction for all to see.

Beirut has some of the most treasured archaeological finds in the world at their National Museum and the AUB Museum both are a must see on your trip to this great city.  If after your trip to the museums you fancy some fresh air then a lovely stroll at sunset along the Corniche, Lebanon's Central Park, is ideal, the sights and sounds will be enough to blow those cobwebs away.  Corniche is a coastal area and is a wonderful place to enjoy the sea air and relax as you watch the world go by.

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Heres a chum chattering about concerns with climate change

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The SETT community thought that with the soaring cost of petrol we'd seek a cheaper and healthier form of transport - cycling!

Now as I'm sure road users are very aware the road is a dangerous place for wee badgers and it would seem more so when on two wheels.

Here's a smart guide to road awareness when cycling from injury compensation solicitors Access Legal which is taken from their safer cycling guide as well as additional information about how to make a claim for a cycle accident.

• Be aware of where you should be on the road and stick to your position
• Always use the cycle lanes or bus lanes when they are available.
• You may want to  ride further away from the kerb than your gut tells you to ensure that you are visible and thus easier to avoid
• In areas with many parked or semi parked cars you should ride at least a full door’s length to avoid doors being opened out into your path
• Adjust your speed on bends accordingly to avoid swinging out too far when exiting any bend as the same can often be blind to the cyclist
• When stopping at junctions, move to the front of any stationary traffic, this will allow other vehicles to be aware of you. Particularly larger vehicles like trucks, and buses as the drivers have limited vision
• When riding in dense traffic, attempt to ride at the same pace as the traffic. Be aware of other vehicles wanting to enter the road that you are established on however.
• Cycling insurance is much much cheaper then motor vehicle insurance, so you may want to consider it. Although its not a legal requirement, the insurance will cover you in the off chance that you are part of a collision with another vehicle, a pedestrian, or if your bike is stolen

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Bit of february fun for you all

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A few years ago, I actually fancied the idea of creating one of those dreadful 'special-limited-period-reduced-price-one-time-only-buy-now or-forever-lose-out-offer' type websites, which takes reams of empty words to chastise, browbeat and arm twist its visitors into investing ten pounds for the Greatest Weight-Loss Secret of All Time complete with a guaranteed, no-nonsense money-back guarantee if the secret wasn't completely true - and then send people those four words, Eat Less, Exercise More.

I bet thousands would send off the money and they would have no grounds for demanding their money back!

meanwhile see what the wonderful National Health Service advice on diet is.

Happy New Year Badger followers - Peace!

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Millions of people worldwide are being affected by an outage at Skype, the hugely popular telephone and internet communication services.

The breakdown started last night and lasted for several hours. Reports from around the globe suggested that intermittent problems were continuing today.

Outages are going to be with us for many years to come, especially as these services scale up. The key thing is to have multiple channels ready if and when the next Skypefail or Twitter outage occurs.

Now of course any decent hibernating badger would care little about this inconvinience but it is after all the run up to Christmas when the whole world wants to "talk for free" or at very best make cheap calls to friends and family around the world

Tony Bates, Skype chief executive officer said “We take outages like this really seriously and apologise for the inconvenience users are having.

“Right now it looks like clients are coming on and offline and sometimes they are crashing in the middle of calls. We are deep in the middle of investigating the cause of the problem and have teams working hard to remedy the situation.”

Disruption of the Skype affected at least 20 million people - who failed to make free calls (skype to skype calls) and video calls on computers.

Skype has been proud on its stable service of late, convincing millions of users, including some businesses, to use their sustems more and more to make calls and communicate. The last time Skype suffered a major problem was in 2007.

Mr Bates did not rule out the possibility that the service was the victim of a cyber attack, saying that “all avenues” were being pursued.

Supernodes

The internet communications business explained that some of their computers known as “supernodes” had been taken offline by an unspecified problem affecting some versions of Skype.

In a post on the company blog, it said. “Our engineers are creating new ‘mega-supernodes’ as fast as they can, which should gradually return things to normal. This may take a few hours.”

This morning Skype users on Twitter and from places including the US, Europe and Japan continue to complain that they are having problems accessing the service.

On Skype’s Twitter account, the company said that their “engineers and site operations team are working non-stop to get things back to normal”.

Ryan Kim, from the respected technology blog GigaOm, wrote: “The lesson here isn’t that we should abandon online communications tools. Those are here to stay. We need to just keep our options open and be prepared to roll with the punches.

“Outages are going to be with us for many years to come, especially as these services scale up. The key thing is to have multiple channels ready if and when the next Skypefail or Twitter outage occurs.”

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Now the winter nights are drawing in we badgers tend to spend more time in the sett enjoying our multimedia channels.  What about you dear readers...do you sofalise* much?

Why bother to go out when you can socialise with the world from your sofa via Facebook and Twitter, and watch TV at the same time?

A survey found that 26% of us now do all our socialising at home.

Michelle, a thirty something from Shoreditch, east Lahndon, cannot remember the last time she watched a television programme all the way through without updating her status on a social networking website at the same time.

She has an eye-watering 746 Facebook friends (“more than 1,000 is weird, less than 300 means you’re not using it enough”). The only time she is not online is when she stays with her mother in Scotland — and that is only because there is no iPhone reception in Pennan.

As you may have guessed, Michelle is single. Her last boyfriend thought she spent too much time social networking. We are used to the concept of work widows. Now we have social network widows as well.

This is a hazard of sofalising.

As of this week we have the first candidate for next year’s Oxford English Dictionary — “sofalise”: Verb. 1. To socialise with friends and family from the comfort of your sofa via online social networks, usually while watching television. 2. To no longer go out with actual people. Sofa liaise or sofalising is here and coming to a living room near you.

Mich is not as hardcore a sofa-liser as Maria, a thirty-something (again) media consultant who moved from London to Shropshire 10 years ago.

Now that she has two young children, Maria rarely has time to socialise with real people. Instead she sofalises. It is part of her routine: get the kids to bed, get some dinner, “flop down onto a leather sofa in front of the television with a large glass of wine and power up Facebook and Twitter”.

Evenings are spent in online chat about the latest episode of Downton Abbey, Ugly Betty or, if she can stay awake long enough, Newsnight.

Her husband, a surveyor, hates it but Maria insists it is a great way to stay in touch and have a gossip with the friends who no longer live nearby.

What about the telephone? She is “phone-phobic” since having children. “I have one friend I will answer to after the kids are in bed,” she said. “The rest I’ll ignore. It’s just much easier to stay in touch on the net.” She is a full-on sofa lite.

Then there is Kate, who is not a sofaliser at all — “I still have actual friends and I still actually go out” — but who had the misfortune to go on holiday with one. Mobile sofalising is perhaps the most extreme form of the phenomenon.

“Within five minutes of arriving in Egypt she’d updated her Facebook status to say, ‘Mich is in De Nile’,” said Kate, 27.

“Everywhere we went, every time we had a few drinks, she would take hundreds of pictures and post them on Facebook right there and then. When I got home people knew more about what we’d got up to than I did.”

What is going on? When did everyone start conducting their entire social lives virtually? And from a sofa? Is this a sign of a technologically advanced, socially enriched cyber-society or is it the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it?

Aaron Sorkin, screenwriter of The Social Network, the acclaimed new movie about Facebook, is sceptical about the rise of the virtual world.

“I have a nine-year-old daughter who’s never really known a world without this kind of thing,” he said.

“Is it possible that this device that was intended to connect all of us and bring us closer together is doing just the opposite by allowing us to socialise from the solitude of our living rooms? By allowing us to reinvent ourselves as other people? By allowing us to not show any flaws at all? Is this a good thing?”

Certainly we have moved a long way since the first email was sent in 1965. Of course, we all email now. And we are all on the internet and at the end of a mobile phone. But then came the social networks — web 2.0 — offering the ability to “socialise” with large groups of people instantly.

Facebook arrived in February 2004. Today one in 14 people worldwide (an estimated 500m of us) is signed up. Many others are on MySpace and Bebo.

Then, in one “brainstorming day” in 2006, Jack Dorsey, a 30-year-old software architect, came up with the idea of sending much shorter text-length messages to groups of people. The micro-blogging site Twitter was born and today an estimated 175m people tweet billions of 140-character messages at each other.

Now we have reached a new stage. We have sofalising, the definitive sign that virtual social networks have fully inveigled their way into the fabric of our real social lives. According to a new study, millions of Britons have given up going out, preferring instead to indulge in virtual interaction.

The survey, conducted for an online casino operator, found that 26% of us now do all our socialising at home.

It identified no fewer than 11 methods of communication: we were already the European nation most prolific at texting, but sofalisers will also instant message, Skype, live chat, direct message, wall post, status update and, of course, tweet. While watching television, sat on sofas in the living room of course.

On average, Britons spend 4.6 hours a week conversing with friends online compared with six hours spent meeting up in person. Within a few years those figures are expected to be reversed.

For a hardcore 3% of the population this is already the case. These extreme sofalisers spend more than 25 hours a week on social networks, gripped, one suspects, by a paranoia that if they are not online they will miss something important.

One in 10 respondents claimed to have missed a real party because the invitations had been sent out virtually.

Of course, in this new age of austerity there is much to be said for not going out. Sofalising has arrived just in time for us to convince ourselves that we still have an exciting social life when we can no longer afford to finance one.

It also provides an obvious lifeline to the real world for housebound parents who, it was revealed last week, manage to go out an average of only 15 times in the first five years of parenthood.

Whether or not the lifestyle is actually enjoyable is another matter. Should you wish to try it, your key goal is to master dual or triple-screen operation.

At no point should you be only watching television, only social networking or only messaging people on your 3G phone. This is old-fashioned and inefficient.

Teenagers have already mastered this multi-tasking (even if a recent survey of American students found that those who had Facebook on while they were revising for exams scored, on average, 20% less than those who did not).

I tried sofalising last week and I can confirm that it takes practice. I have no recollection of the Spooks episode on television. Neither can I recall who I sofalised with or why. I received no text messages or friendly emails.

More pressingly, my wife Mrs Badger — who was sitting at the other end of our lovely leather sofa (actually, not virtually) — found my sofalising antisocial. Frankly, I was too busy trying to multi-task on my multimedia platforms to talk to her.

Luddite wives aside, is sofalising a good thing? Is it the only sensible way to stay in touch in an increasingly hectic world?

“The appeal is obvious,” said Dr David Lewis, a cognitive neuropsychologist. “We have 168 hours available to us each week but we have 368 hours’ worth of things we must do, need to do, want to do and think we ought to do.

“This is a way of shortcutting what is the time-consuming process of going out and meeting people.

“With social networks you can contact a very large number of people very quickly. You can appear to have a very good social life without having to invest much time or effort in it.”

Virtual communication is certainly less fraught with social unease than face-to-face communication. As Lewis said, your sofa is where you feel most safe, so much so that your brain activity changes dramatically when you sit on it. You feel more relaxed.

You are more open to suggestion (something television advertisers have long been aware of). “On your sofa you don’t put yourself up for visual inspection. You can be anybody you want,” said Lewis.

This is a way of shortcutting what is the time-consuming process of going out and meeting people

Compared with a pub full of strangers or a restaurant patrolled by an intimidating sommelier, it is a walk in the park.

Unfortunately, by stripping away everything but text you also lose much of the social experience. Without visual information and without hearing the sound of a person’s voice, about 80% of the emotional content of interaction is gone, according to Lewis. In other words, a text, a tweet or a Facebook update is only one fifth as meaningful as a one-on-one talk.

There are other risks associated with sofas, large glasses of wine and virtual socialising with a mass of virtual friends. You can get arrested.

Last week Gareth Compton, a Tory councillor in Birmingham, found police officers at his door after he jokingly suggested on Twitter that Yasmin Alibhai-Brown should be stoned to death for her comments about human rights on a BBC radio programme.

On the same day Chris Cairns, the former New Zealand cricket captain, was given the go-ahead to sue for libel about a message posted on Twitter which suggested he had been involved in match-fixing.

This weekend Twitter was aflame with the injustice of the conviction of 27-year-old Paul Chambers for a tweet in which he joked about blowing up an airport.

“Crap! Robin Hood airport is closed. You’ve got a week to get your s*** together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!” wrote the infuriated accountant, who was promptly convicted for sending a menacing electronic communication. Chambers lost his job and, last Thursday, his appeal and must now pay a fine of £400 plus legal costs of £2,600.

Sofalisers were incensed. An “I’m Spartacus” campaign was launched on Twitter in which thousands repeated his original “threat”, leaving the authorities with the daunting prospect of arresting half the country for menacing electronic communications.

Which would, at the very least, get people up off their sofas.

When Lindsay Lohan checked into the Betty Ford clinic last month, she was not being treated just for her drug and alcohol addictions. She was also dealing with her compulsive tweeting.

Social networking is banned at the clinic to allow patients to concentrate on themselves. Lilo has not tweeted since September 27. If she can do it, so can you.

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Stunning Autumn Colours in Britain

The acer glade behind the Sett has a full panoply of tints to savour. Try saying that after one too many grubs on a Friday night.

Autumn leaves - enjoy the colours of the season.  I began by searching for Autumn collection and amongst the many fashion adverts this video featuring an autumn winter collection of lingerie distracted me - it's not every day you get to hear about the beautiful styles of russet gussets.

Friends returning from New England report that the colours in the landscape are “gorgeous, breathtaking”, but there is no need to travel that far to enjoy autumn tints at their most alluring. In woods and valleys, arboretums and public parks across Britain, trees and shrubs are changing colour, some already a vibrant red, others pale green and gold and deep russet.

Early frosts and a damp summer guarantee that autumn in the UK will come close to matching the New England fall. A day’s outing and walk in the woods will capture some of the charm but the seasonal colours provide an ideal excuse for a short break in the countryside at prices much lower than in summer or the festive period.

The choice of destinations to enjoy extends from Cornwall to the borders of England and if you are lucky you will find special deals in country hotels and discounts on rural cottages all equiped and furnished to a high standard. Many offer roaring open fires in coxy lounges - end each breathtaking autumnal day settled deep in a comfortable leather sofas gazing at the myriad of colours as the flames continue the seasons colour wheel.

Places that guarantee the best of the season.

Westonbirt Arboretum in the southwest of the Cotswolds has a magnificent collection of Japanese maples and native trees with autumn colours that range from brilliant yellows and deep reds through to vibrant pinks and oranges.

The Old Bell Hotel, one of England’s oldest inns a few miles down the road in Malmesbury.

Thorp Perrow Arboretum, south of Bedale, North Yorkshire, is set in 100 acres of woodlands and gardens and is also home to a bird of prey and mammal centre.

Close by is Watermill Croft, a home for two set beside the 17th-century Crakehall Watermill

For those who would like to be guided on their woodland walks, HF Holidays has a four-night break in the northern Lake District, starting on November 8. Based at Derwent Bank Country House in woodland beside Derwent Water, the holiday features a programme of organised walks that take in the deciduous woodland of Borrowdale and rugged beauty of Watendlath Fell.

One recommended way of getting the best of the autumn colours is to explore the hidden valleys, secluded woodland and spectacular views that surround Pentillie Castle, above the River Tamar at St Mellion in Cornwall.

Featured in Country House Rescue, the castle has nine double rooms overlooking the river, a garden of historic interest and an avenue of limes that turn golden at this time of year.

Southeast England has no shortage of dramatic parks and woodlands, with one of the best known being Burnham Beeches in Buckinghamshire.

Ockenden Manor in Cuckfield, West Sussex, is handy for Wakehurst Place and Sheffield Park Garden and has a two-night break, through Pride of Britain Hotels. With B&B and dinner in the Michelin-starred restaurant, entry to the gardens and a ticket to ride on the Bluebell Railway’s Autumn Tints Special.

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It may only be early October but consumers appear to be thinking about Christmas earlier than ever this year, according to the latest figures from Waitrose.

The supermarket chain, owned by the John Lewis Partnership, said that sales of Christmas puddings had risen by 100 per cent in the week to October 2, compared to the same period the year before.

Christmas cake sales were also stronger, up 22 per cent, boxed Christmas cards gained 22 per cent and gift wrap was up 15 per cent year on year.

Personally I am happy to wait for the annual "surprise" delivery of a well chosen luxury gift hampers full of Christmas goodies from M&S - to include cake, mince pies, pud and a nice drop of vintage Port.

News on the early seasonal surge came as Waitrose said that overall sales for the week to October 2 rose 9.4 per cent to £92.87 million, as customers responded positively to its brand price match campaign on popular branded groceries.

Sales at the John Lewis department stores gained 13.9 per cent to £62.39 million, with a strong performance online.

The upbeat figures come as retailers across the country move into the vital Christmas trading period, with some anxious that the impending Comprehensive Spending Review could hit consumer confidence and spending.

Sainsbury’s said earlier this week that consumers were unlikely to worry, although Marks & Spencer warned yesterday that it could put pressure on household budgets.

However, some retailers could benefit over Christmas from consumers bringing forward some purchases before VAT riises to 20 per cent early in the new year.

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It's October and we're going into autumn now.  The seasons are changing and we have some lovely mellow colours and autumn shades for this October bouquet from M&S that will give a much needed glow to the sett as the chill nights draw in.

We have

• Confetti roses - a bi colour orange and yellow

• Dried Achillea that keeps it colour even i its dried state
• Ribin Hood Germini - a mini gerboa again with two colours running throught he petals
• Orange Asiatic lillies - careful with those stmens!
• Leaucadendron Safari Sunset
• Dark green rhododendron foliage

Putting the bouquet together - start with some strong upright stems and arrange the flowers in a sprial around these.

Wrap your bouquet in tissue paper add a sachet of special formula flower food to help them last that bit longer

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American bequeaths millions to wombats in Sydney, Australia

While eccentric millionaires often against the advice of private banking and wealth management professionals, leave their money to cat homes or their spoilt pet dogs, (what about the badgers?) the unnamed American bequeathed AU$8 million (£4.8 million) to the Wombat Awareness Organisation (WAO) in South Australia, leaving the non-profit environmental group stunned at the act of generosity from the other side of the world.

“We thought it was a joke,” Brigitte Stevens, the organisation’s founding director, told The Badger. “So we asked for it to be sent in writing, and now that we have it confirmed we are still shocked.”

Ms Stevens met the millionaire, who worked in the family business horse racing industry, two years ago when he asked for a tour of the WAO, which conducts large-scale rescue and rehabilitation of the southern hairy-nosed wombat.

Ms Stevens said she had explained to the American the work the group did in caring for injured wombats – which are native to South Australia and feature as the state’s emblem – and the conservation of the mammals, which are threatened by mange, drought, and landowners filling in their burrows.

“He was quite horrified at what was happening,” Ms Stevens said. “We didn’t know he had any money at all until his solicitor rang and said he had been all over Australia and spoken with a lot of different conservation projects and thought ours was the most genuine.

“It’s really good news for the wombats. Finally we can take care of them a lot better and cater for a lot more wombats now.”

Southern hairy-nosed wombats are officially listed as threatened and are becoming endangered from sarcoptic mange, which killed 80 per cent of the population in 2004.

The nocturnal animals live in burrows in arid environments and are usually silver or brown and can weigh up to 40kg.

While cute to look at, wombats can become agitated when sick. Last year an Australian man was mauled by a wombat which was suffering from advanced case of mange.

Ms Stevens said the organisation – which is supported by Bob Irwin, father of the late environmentalist Steve Irwin – currently has 17 living at the wildlife refuge in Mannum. Approximately 700 are cared for annually.

They can spend anywhere from three days to a lifetime in rehabilitation at a cost of up to AU$40,000 per wombat.

The animals are looked after by Ms Stevens – who describes wombats as “the loves of my life” – and two other volunteers, who all live together in a small property.

“I don’t have a bedroom, I don’t have a mirror and I don’t have hot running water,” she said. “We are the only people in the world who share a house with a community of wombats.”

Ms Stevens said the group would use the donation, which will be delivered in instalments over eight years, to buy a larger property and develop a proper centre to care for the wombats, as well as other species of wildlife.

Despite the enormous gift, Ms Stevens said the group still needed more money to help the animals. She said that after the donation was made public today other donors had begun withdrawing their regular cash pledges, leaving the organisation short.

“There is still so much work that needs to be done,” Ms Stevens said.

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Thailand Flight Delayed - Tigers Found in luggage

A two-month-old tiger cub was found hidden among stuffed toy tigers in a woman’s luggage at a Bangkok airport.

Found tiger cubs in luggage on flight from Bangkok

The Thai woman, who was about to board a flight from Bangkok to Iran, was stopped at security after an X-ray machine spotted the animal’s beating heart. Wildlife officers took the tiger to a National Parks Department rescue centre where it is now recuperating. The anti-smuggling organisation Traffic warned the incident showed the need for constant monitoring of Thailand flights and tougher sentencing for smugglers.

Big cat smuggling is prevalent in Thailand and the Far East, where black market demand for tiger products for use in Chinese medicine is pushing the species to extinction.

This year is the Chinese Year of the Tiger, and a World Bank fund has been set up to save the estimated 4,000 tigers left in the wild.

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Beach Badger - the tricks of the trade

With the latest ranges of bikinis now costing a small fortune and the ludicrous cost of taking bags on holiday flight yours truly has hit upon the idea of simply not bothering trying to keep up with swimwear fashion - instead turn to high street underwear or lingerie that not only feels great under new holiday dresses but also looks stunning by the pool or on the beach.

1. Tan before you try. Shopping for your suit with a healthy glow will help you tap into your inner Elle Mc and fully visualise your beach wear look.

2. Avoid the midday sun. It acts like spotlighting, says Melissa Odabash, “which would give Gisele cellulite. If you have to walk out in it, wear a big hat to diffuse the light and tie a sarong around to cover your bottom half. Remember you probably spent good money on holiday dresses so wear them during the daytime. Most women look great from the hip up”.

3. Stick to neutral-coloured underwear at the beginning of your holiday, working towards whites and brights as your tan develops. Yes, this does mean you save packing at least four bikinis for a seven-day trip.

4. Disguise a large bottom by going one size smaller with your lingerie — seriously. “The temptation is to go up a size, but then all the eye sees is more fabric. Then you get that diaper effect, which drives me crazy.”

5. Don’t think that pulling your knickers up higher makes your legs look longer. “It looks ridiculous. A hipster style, that classic Sophia Loren look, suits every body shape.”

6. Look for ruching, pleats and ruffles to disguise a multitude of sins, from a less-than-flat tummy to the dreaded muffin top.

7. Avoid underwiring. Side-boning means even Heidi Klein’s skimpier  bras can work on busty girls. “Just tie the halter nice and tight, and you’ll still get that lift,” says Laura Thirtle. In the world of BW, it’s all about the lift.

8. Odabash recommends “regular massages, to get the water retention out of your legs” and a “freezing-cold shower just before the beach to tighten everything up”.

9. Essential products in Odabash’s badger babe armoury include “a glittering oil by Biotherm, which gives you the most incredible sheen, Laura Mercier tinted moisturiser, St Tropez Everyday daily tanner and factor-50 sunblock”.

10. Remember, the sophisticated beach badger keeps her pedicure neutral. “Bright coloured claws look tacky.”

11. Take a final tip from boho lingerie model Kate Moss. “She layers body oil by Ligne St Barth [stocked at Heidi Klein] under her sunblock,” says Thirtle. “It leaves your skin feeling super-soft when you shower it off.”

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Business class today is the first class of yesterday but where does that leave BA’s new first class?

I was at the launch of British Airways’ new first class recently, as you can see from this picture shows me sitting in a mock-up of the seat.

If you haven’t flown it or read about it, BA’s new first class seat is 21 inches wide and has a pitch of 78 inches and you will find either 13 or 14 seats on your plane depending on whether you are on a Boeing 747 or 777. The screen for the in-flight entertainment is 15 inches across.

You also get access to the Concorde Room at London Heathrow Terminal 5 and at New York . JFK and access to a Quintessentially concierge 14 days either side of your flight.

The new first class made its debut on the London-Chicago route in February. First is due to be rolled out across the BA fleet by the end of 2011.

The launch was a swanky affair; it was held at a Mayfair art gallery, there was plenty of Champagne sloshing about and there was even a little celeb glitz through the presence of actor and badger fan Bill Nighy.

It felt strange to be looking at such a product in such surroundings just a few weeks after the Coalition Government swept to power and warned the country that austerity was the new watch-word.

This had me wondering, not for the first time, about the future of first class.

First class, as you would expect, is an expensive luxury. This summer, a fully flexible one-way, first class ticket from Heathrow to New York is £4,268 including taxes. That compares with £2,780 in business class, £961 in premium economy, £608 in economy (all fully flexible and including taxes) and £164 including taxes in discounted economy.

Intense competition from the likes of Emirates - UAE, Etihad - Abu Dhabi and Singapore - Sling Airlines means that airlines are constantly upgrading their onboard product. What passes as business class today would have been first class (or beyond) 10 to 20 years ago. Similarly, what is termed as premium economy today would have been business class back then.

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Airports reveal that they plan to boost revenue from increasing alcohol sales - good news for all of us who simply cannot find a drink at all hours.

I'm not about to contest the trend toward more alcohol at more places and time at airports to make airport employees and government bureaucrats happy.

Idiots are idiots liquor or no liquor, and the solution is to enforce the law and standards of decency on everyone, sober or otherwise. The way those airport employees and all the wonders of air travel today treat travellers, I'm all for anything that will make the experience more human for travellers.

So let them make spirits more available but back it up with better monitoring of concourses by airport employees and hopefully lower prices for airline tickets and airport services - some hope!

While we're at it, how about driving school and a little electro-shock for those manic beeping golf cart nazis who menace everyone else in the airport so they can whiz a select few (who are looking younger and younger these days) to their gate.

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Pakistan Flooding - Emergency Aid Needed Now!

I know not of the plight of any badgers in this troubled region but the TV news and online updates continue to present sad pictures and scenes of human suffering.

Not good to hear that the forecast is more and more rain - exaserbating the floods

Hopefully, they will survive and have the strength and succour to carry on with life.

Pakistan floods appeal

This video should encourage us all to do whatever we can to help

I think, we should set aside our political feelings toward the government of Pakistan which deserves little credit for their response to this emergency.

It is a natural disaster and people affected by it are truly suffering.

I am disappointed that the UN response was very meager. I hope good people of India would extend their helping hand in the reconstruction efforts and health services of the people of the Swat Valley in North West Pakistan.

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